And then depression set in.
There have been brief moments during my “career” that I thought “Hey, I think I’m a decent photographer,” or moments when I thought “I think I just made something good.” But then I went to last night’s two-hour PSPF projection, which was split between Stephen Wilkes and Dan Winters, and I was, once again, reminded that in most ways I’ve never even gotten off the ground as a photographer.(This is a reality but is entirely on me.)
You see there are parallel worlds of photography running at all times. Like the Matrix. They shift time, space and dimension. You might be content, cruising along in your career thinking the eagle has landed only to realize there is another layer of activity above your head. Or in this case, ten levels of activity above your head.
Both Wilkes and Winters have decades long careers, and when I say decades long I mean rapidly approaching the 30-40 year timeline. Just think about that. Just think about what that means in terms of knowledge. Not just the technical needs, or technology shifts, but also the knowledge required to get work, promote, understand the client, understand trends and the perpetual need to prove oneself decade after decade. I see the work that these people have made, and the work they are making today, and I am so blown away it forces me to look in the mirror with a level of honesty that is sobering and occasionally akin to being punched in the neck.
These men have things in common, but it’s what sets them apart that’s critical. They have visual fingerprints, uniqueness born from study, practice, patience and obsession that young photographers may or may not comprehend. And to do this for thirty years is remarkable. Photography, illustration, motion, writing, etc. They do all these things and they do them at the highest level. Their history brings trust, which is something that can’t be overstressed, and their clients are often times long running relationships that are far beyond the standard shoot.(Evidenced by various editor/art buyer friends who attended the projection.)
As I left the projection, for a brief moment, I contemplated turning left instead of right. Instead of returning to the hotel I thought perhaps it would be prudent to climb into the mountains, spend the night in lotus while being devoured by insects and deranged desert people who might be living in those hills. Maybe, just maybe I would never return, or perhaps I would descend back into this world with a mental horn of fire, lighting the way into my future.
Dan Dan Dan have you ever considered you serve a purpose. We’re the tiny bit on the left hand side of the bell curve😂 I’m a proud left o the humper😊
I’m not sure I’ve ever been on the curve, but the good news about this is that I have much to learn.
A carefull look at
showed me a lot that contradicts the low esteem you have for your (maybe smaller than your two examples-but quantity doesn’t count on your planet) work.
I wish my portfolio would look like yours, I wouldn’t step on the 9-5 thread mill for sure as I’m doing now.
Go for it man!
Thanks for that. Appreciate that. I don’t think I have low self esteem, but I’m aware of the level of work being created, and this is often a sobering reminder of what’s possible. I don’t work as a photographer, haven’t for years, so there is no reason for me to be anywhere else than where I am, but seeing these photographers at PSPF is true motivation.
Yeh man your worst picture is better than my best.
Ah, doubt that. Keep plugging.
Definitely not coming from me but I’ve heard from a wise person, might even be you, who knows, that what really matters is that the pictures or project you output is better than the last. Means you progress and become better with every new project. Well that way, if I put a lot of thoughts and efforts I might catch your current level by the time I become an OB!
Progress, dealing with failure, continue to fail to push yourself, continuing to educate, experiment. All key. Or just drilling down on a current style, technique, etc. and attempting to get better.
Just finished reading the posts about the fest. Love some of the links you added to them!
I can’t believe it’s been a year already. Last year I was back from Palm Springs area a month or so before the fest happened. I was hoping to go this year but go figure, now I’m back in Spain for good. So sad I never heard about it earlier.
Maybe one day …
I’m still buzzing.