I am extremely photographically fortunate, and I don’t mean with my own photography. I am fortunate because I spend my weeks, months and years in conversation with the world’s best photographers. Sometimes these “conversations,” are text messages, sometimes they are emails, sometimes they are phone calls, and when the stars align these conversations are face to face.
I would credit this post to a conversation I had earlier this week, face to face, with someone I consider a legend, but this post was also influenced by my old friend David Myers who has been a reader of this site for many years. David replied to my last post with several questions of his own.
Dan, your discussion about “creativity and practice” is refreshing. I am curious, when you think about the book or whatever it is in the end, what will become of it? Will it become a piece of your collected work and success comes from the accomplishment? Will success come in other ways from the effort?
Success. There you have it. There is that word again. We are now at the point in the post where you should see an enormous caution sign coming into view. DANGER AHEAD. Now, let’s go back to my face to face conversation from earlier this week. My friend, the legend, sat down across from me and we began stitching out current events, our lives, projects, families, etc. He mentioned he was approached about doing a show and was initially excited about the prospects, but after learning the gallery refused to pay for framing, printing, shipping, marketing, and the opening he said “Don’t think this is for me.” (Yes, ever after a forty year career, this shit still happens. Galleries know there are willing folks out there, and yes, they do have overhead.)
This is where things get interesting. The third party involved in our conversation attempted to find a workaround so he might be able to find a better path while still landing the show. And then I asked, “But why?” “Why do you even want this in the first place?” He smiled and said “That’s it.” “That’s the real question.” He used a specific word. “Strive.” He explained that he had been “striving” on a daily basis since he was eighteen years old. Every single day, even all these decades later, he felt intense pressure to strive. If a single day passed where he felt he did not put in a full “striving” effort he would find himself feeling intense guilt.
So, he made some changes. He talked about reading a “real, paper book,” in the middle of the day. Initially, the shift was painful and anxiety filled but over time the routine began to feel normal. And now, he has come to grips with not needing to strive so much. You might credit this to age, and I would agree, but I would also attribute this to experience and intelligence. And perhaps knowing you have a forty year archive that is a visual testament that most photographers can only dream of.
Because I’m a self-centered douche, I added my own thoughts. I admitted that I was still very much driven, that striving was embedded in my brain and I didn’t see that departing anytime soon. However, I also admitted that I had a secret weapon. I don’t care. I don’t care about you. And I don’t care about him. I don’t care about photographers, the YouTube-verse, Nelson Mandela, or U2 or Jennifer Aniston, or Stephen Hawking or Jesus Christ. Don’t care.
Well, I DO care, but not in the way you might think. I care about you, and these folks I list above, as human beings, but I don’t care what you think of me and I don’t care what you think of my work. This is the dream situation. It makes everything exponentially better. It makes life better. Caring enough not to care. So, when David asked his questions I felt like this post was meant to be, and I also felt like this is a critically important message for you many of you.
If you create for “them,” you are in a for a long, long road. “Them” could be clients, agents, gallerists, curators, or something as toxic as a social audience. These people and entities will turn you inside out and they will assure you never figure out who you truly are. If you never figure out who you are, you will never determine what it is you are supposed to be making. You will never meet you, and you will never learn to be original. (Being original is no guarantee anyone will like what you do.)
When David asked about the book I’m making and what will become of it, my first thought was “Nothing.” But nothing in the classic sense of something created for someone or something else. Do I have tasks to complete for Blurb? Tasks that include my work? Yes. Those are tasks. I check them off and get back to working on my own things because my own things are where my creative breakthroughs come from. A brand can’t fail and experiment like I do. A brand wants no part of what is happening in my little brain.
David also asked, “Will it become a piece of your collected work and success comes from the accomplishment? Will success come in other ways from the effort?” Great questions in my book. I don’t look for success. Never even think about it. I am my harshest critic, and most of the time I can see through myself with ease. I make a sketch and I see a hack. Make a picture and I know where that picture lives on the scale of good vs evil. I don’t lie to myself because I don’t have the time to waste. When I work on a book for myself, I am setting a goal to learn something. It might be a better understanding of the work itself, or a new design technique. I then print the book and move on.
In the coming months, I hope to undertake an experiment.
The success of this experiment, at this point, is a long shot. But the experiment is as much about you as it is about me. I want to try to create, presell, print and deliver two hundred copies of a custom book. The book won’t be a traditional photobook. I’ve got enough of those already. The book will be about a photography project, but it will also be about the process, the behind-the-scenes and anything else I see fits the mood. I believe this is the future of photobook publishing. Small runs completely controlled by the artist. Presell the book, print it, deliver it and MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.
Do I personally have a goal of doing this? No. But I believe this model is doable for many of the folks I see going down the traditional publishing path where they are spending tens of thousands of dollars, and eighteen months of their life, to get a book they may or may not like. So, for the first time in a long while, I DO have a plan for success. But I still see myself as the middle man. I’m just the guy who might have the connections to pull this off. (It still depends on several things out of my control.) When the test is over I will go back to making things for myself, and being very content with this little model.
Remember, you are CREATIVE. You have a responsibility to be the best creative you can be. You won’t ever find that person if your drive for success is the most dominant force pressing on your back. You will make what is acceptable and what is popular, and we all know where those roads end. I need to end this five star beauty of a post with a disclaimer. This system works for me, but it might not work for you. Everyone defines success in their own way. Mine happens to live and die with me, but yours might not. We are all obtuse shaped humans moving through a world that loves the more traditional three, four, five or six sided shapes. Fit in, get in line, don’t rock the boat. I find myself drawn to those who have repeatedly failed at fitting in. My parents told me in elementary school that our family did not fit in. (True story.) This was not a brag, this was just boring fact.
Perhaps the best solution here is to question ourselves. Why? Why do we want what we want? Do we crave for inherent, personal reasons or due to outside forces, and if we do crave for outside forces, how do those cravings differ from our very own? This will be sobering for some of you, but that’s okay. Life ain’t supposed to be easy. Just walk to the plate and take your best swing, and if you strike out, that’s okay. There is another game tomorrow.
Comments 23
Hello Dan. This is Rick from India. I have been following you for quite a while now, and every time I have been quite intrigued by this philosophy of yours. I feel having this mindset is a blessing. I am saying this because, I have been trying, to NOT CARE about other people and what they think seeing my work, for a long time now, and honestly, I have made very little progress. I am not a social media guy. I mostly tend to be away from social medias, but still this creeping thought of other people opinion defining the quality of my work is like a termite eating away wood.
Your thoughts are as ever inspiring. Creative freedom is a rare commodity nowadays. Allowing one’s work to breathe and let it define itself in its existence is very important. If you ask me what success is to me (I have to give my opinion because I am also a self centered douche), I will say, creating something that helps me to make sense of myself and the world around me. I don’t matter. My equipment doesn’t matter. My fancy social media account and huge number of so called followers don’t matter. End destination in the pages of history doesn’t matter. What matters TO ME is how I can create some order from the chaos around. If not successful then I can at least try. Live out my life trying every day little by little.
Author
I’m not sure what else you need, and also realize you are not alone. I think MOST of us are dabbling at making sense of things. Or seeing things from a new angle. The “A” word gets thrown around a lot, “Authenticity,” but what an elusive creature.
Dan, the Khmer kroma, is it the classic red and white check? And do you still don it to go out and buy groceries? I still have two, a red and white and a blue and white from my trip in 2000!
Author
I think this one is black, red, and white, but I did have a blue one, and a very nice, larger one I gave my wife.
Interesting painting; fan of Bacon’s?
Writing, photography and painting? That’s not fair! 😉
Author
Yes, a fan. Look, I’m not great at ANY of these things but that frustration is damn motivating.
Rick Rubin once told Anderson Cooper that, “The audience comes last.” When Anderson asked, “How can that be?” Rubin said: “Well, the audience doesn’t know what they want. The audience only knows what’s come before.” In other words, creatives should do the work that they long to create. Authentic work. Personal work. For themselves. It’s the kind of work that always pleases and fulfills us the most. And chances are, the work will be fresh. Not derivative. And often, it ends up resonating and exciting others. But even if it doesn’t, it will continue to excite the creative. And that’s always a great feeling.
Author
Oh man, I LOVE that. So many people have recommended his book. I need to check that out. And yes, that’s it!!
“ I am setting a goal to learn something”…love this statement and it is a good reminder (for me) to keep from going down the myriad of rabbit holes.
Time to ask myself some tough questions lol. Always appreciate your fresh take and perspective on things.
Regards,
A.
Author
For sure. Why do it if it doesn’t lead to new knowledge? Endless things to learn.
Making stuff is my thing and has always been for as long as I can remember. I’m not particular in regards to “which stuff” – handmade books, furniture, electronic circuitry, computer programs, anything goes as long as it keeps me absorbed and in the flow. I don’t care about an audience simply because I can’t imagine to spend my time in any other way. Entertainment e.g. movies is not for me as I find it distracting and have a hard time to keep my attention focussed on it.
When my wife was around, we’d go to bed after seeing some late night movie, and I’d lie there wondering what I’d been watching. I remember asking her why something had happened, and she’d explain. I was only in my sixties at the time, but had either dozed off briefly, been thinking of something else or was more interested in the visual content than the so-called plot. She, on the other hand, couldn’t have cared less about the visual aspects, but was engrossed in plot and story.
For some years now, my Samsung tv has had sound problems, which were solved by wiring it into the hi-fi system and listening via speakers or headphones. Yesterday, the entire sound part of the tv gave up the ghost and all I was left with was a nice, silent documentary on the wildlife on Italy’s mountains. I am wondering whether to get the tv repaired – if that’s even possible – or just write off tv altogether. Most of what I watch these days is available through the little iPad. I was surprised to discover, a few years ago, that sitting where I sit in the room, the screen of my iPad, when on my lap, is at least, relatively, as big as my much larger tv screen much further away. That makes me wonder how much one is fooled (in the shop) by looking closely at big tv screens with their associated prices.
Author
That is hilarious, but also rather poignant. The drifting off and now the realization that maybe you don’t need a TV. I just mentioned in another comment, watched a film about Paul Erling Johnson who lived his entire life in a boat. Most likely, never had a TV.
Rob – exactly! Regarding TV, we dropped this about 20 years ago. In my opinion, it’s just a huge waste of time. My wife is fine with that as she prefers reading books over TV.
Author
I get that. I do like a great film. Just watched a film called Sailer, about Paul Erling Johnson. It made me want to quit my life and buy a boat…..but more importantly, it was motivation to learn how to sail.
Glad I could help “provoke” thinking and your writing, Dan. On the “success” front, I would say that success comes from engagement in the practice of doing the work and improving as I move along; improvement meaning, doing better in my eyes and not from someone else’ perspective. once the work is out in the world, it is on its own and can be read/interpreted however the audience desires or not.
Author
Yes, that’s how I feel. Self assess.
The most liberating, and consequently creatively motivating thing is freedom; freedom from the constraints of opinions that both are unqualified and unwelcome. One has to give permissions too. Permission to take the path of self fulfilment. The loathsome drain that is instagram, and all it’s fraudulent praise, has become the benchmark of success for so many. I constantly struggle to accept social media as a showcasing vehicle.
I’m told by friends and associates that if I want to be known, I have to embrace social media, but I just cannot bring myself to engage in any of it. If you don’t have a SM presence, you just don’t exist, or so I’m led to believe. Instagram ‘likes’ are the most vacuous delivery of praise. One print in the hand is worth more than a million ‘likes.’ I’ve never felt such emptiness as one experiences with instagram and SM. I’ve found the only solution to this wasteland of acceptance is to simply nourish one’s own creative cravings….it’s certainly far more rewarding and creatively cleansing than the silent orchestra of noise.
Author
Anyone telling you that you must be on SM is either selling you something, lying or they feel bad about being on it and it’s the old safety in numbers routine. I sat in front of so many photo industry panels watching these thoughtless people tell rooms full of photographers the same damn, LAZY thing. It’s not true. It’s sheep mentality.
‘Sheep Look Up’, excellent book.
In regards to the book project(s) you’re nutting out; do you know of Craig Mod (craigmod.com)? Writer, author, walker, newsletter crafter… He self publishes giving the good the bad the ugly behind the projects he does. Lives in or near Tokyo. Might give you some inspiration or ideas.
When are you coming through London? I live just to the south. Would be great to meet on your way through. Probably won’t bore you with my photos though. Though I will have a camera with me.
Really happy to see you refocusing after fleeing the cesspit.
Author
Oh ya, I met Craig at the Blurb office about a decade ago. Been following him ever since. He’s a machine. A truly commendable setup and someone who, I think, represents the future for creatives. Well, before AI kills us all.
Apparently this has been sitting in my inbox since 3/8/24. So much for my productivity skills. I know why I strive but I have a replacement and so that works. Judging from the comments I would say that most people are looking for your approval/advice. Primarily because you have more access and experience. It’s not a bad reason. It gets pretty cold when you don’t feel like someone is in your corner. What helps me is the springboard that your talk inspires. Being just shy of 8 decades, a lot of things come into view including the fact that I’m running out of time.
Author
Na, you’ve got time left! Use that imagination.