Creative: Bound for Brighton

The thought crosses. Where would I make that first step? Inner city or near the edges? Down south? Up north? Or maybe not at all. Maybe it’s impossible to say because the foundation is already cracked. There is real need now, to escape or get away to a different place where we can get about our business without the insanity of the insane. This could be a place. Just slip right in and get back to work. Bring a jacket.

“It becomes more mysterious the longer you are here,” he said. “It’s impossible to know the place.”

Flickers of light across the fur of the back. White puffs through blurred windows. A rowdy group on board. A man getting married. His mates in a drunken sendoff. Good luck my friend, you will need it. Another more distinguished, more reserved group heads to the pub to watch the ponies. One carries a briefcase. All are dressed nicely and engage with us with humor and respect. “I hope you aren’t going for the sun,” he said to me. “I’m looking for rain and high wind,” I replied. “That,” he said. “You will get.”

Easing into the station. A friendly face comes to greet. Outside the sea glistens under sicky smooth skies. A pastel tapestry of English light. So different from the skies of home. Calmer, smoother, and more subdued. But the chill they produce is real. Moments of stillness require a brace from the wind. The grating barrage of gulls and warnings to avoid the puke of late-night streets. Now is my time to descend into thought. The first time in weeks. I need it.

For some reason I think of music, of needing to place the tiny, white elements of sound in my ears while tuning out the cacophony around me. The idea I can walk this place for hours with nothing else to do is almost impossible to comprehend. There is camera talk and project talk and ideas of what to do when and where, but at the end I add, “The real issue is the time to use them.(cameras)” I just don’t have it. Until now, until this moment, regardless of how fleeting. Block and go. Nothing else matters now. Later I will come down to Earth and reprogram to conform.

These few moments remind us that to make good you must make do. And you must go and go and go, returning at any morsel regardless of how small or inconsequential you view the caloric benefit. There is something there, and there is something here. It’s not that I want to think about this, it’s that I must think about this. For us, for our safety and protection and for our need to continue to contribute to something greater than ourselves. Don’t be confused. This isn’t noble. This isn’t brave. This is about doing right in a world bent on doing wrong. Let them waste time. Not us, or me. We have work to do.