Creative: Atypical Follow-Up

I can’t stop thinking about atypical people, but I want to expand my take on this small group. My prior post said that atypical people were the only people I wanted to spend time with, but that’s not accurate. First, it would be virtually impossible because atypical people aren’t that common, but second, there is another category that might get confused with atypical that is, in its own, a solid group of human beings, and that is the “outstanding” category. But make no mistake, these are two very different groups. Let me explain.

When I was very young, I met an atypical person.

I didn’t know it at the time, at least not precisely, but I could FEEL something different around this individual. He was an obtuse shape on a cultural board of circles and squares. He looked different, sounded different, and dressed differently, but the most important difference was how other adults behaved around him. I did not understand this at the time, but as I mentioned before, I FELT it. Years later, I got it. He made adults nervous because he did not conform. Someone mapped out his life. All he had to do was get in line. Had he done this, he would have inherited a life of leisure, and the millions with it. It was that simple. In line to take over a family business. He said, “‘Thanks, but no thanks.” This was enough to turn those conforming adults around him. He followed this up with a four-year canoe trip from Ohio to South America.

He lived like a pauper. He saved every penny and worked, but at the assembly line, shunning any idea of middle management or exec-level anything. This bothered people. He was turning his back on the expected. Family members were angry. They seemed to ignore his incredible, adventurous antics, and could only focus on “Wait, this is not WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO.” This was an era when traveling salespeople would show up at your door selling encyclopedias and other book series that promised to encapsulate the world. One of these was on the bookshelf at our house. I LOVED these books. They brought the world to this dimwit hillbilly kid from rural Indiana. When this atypical person came to our house, he knew these books inside and out. I could name a topic, and he could explain it in detail. For conformists, what mattered was having the books on their shelf for others to see, not what was on those pages. (I was learning about status, wealth, image.)

Outstanding people are just that, outstanding, but they might still conform to societal norms. For example, imagine the perfect family. Dad is a self-made, hyper-intelligent individual and works his ass off, moving from nothing to everything. Shrewd, kind, loving, and marries his equal, a professional turned uber mom who raises multiple, exceptional kids who carry on the same traits. They are wildly successful, push themselves mentally and physically, move up from upper class to elite, but don’t carry the douchebag baggage some do. These are salt of the Earth people. They are philanthropic, and they entertain, share, and explore. But they follow a well-worn path. In fact, even in their final neighborhood, complete with a gate and a mountain view, there are others more or less like them. They have every chance to take their foot off the gas, but they do not. There are many of these people out there, but we could still use more. (The opposite of the Kushner family.)

So, what I should have said is “I only want to spend time with atypical and outstanding people,” but this does not mean I’m saying the rest of us don’t bring value. We do. And landing in either of these categories can depend on things outside of our control. Wealth, for example, can greatly impact where you land. Case in point: a rural, northwestern kid vs. an urban kid from an eastern coastal city. If you are born in the Northeast, attend private school, and land the best internships, well, the Ivy League is waiting for you. Attend a school like this, and you have a leg up for the rest of your life. It’s almost built in. Generational wealth is astounding to witness in person. I see this on display in Maine every summer. On the flip side, let’s say you have a rural kid from Southeast Oregon who may or may not even have college on the radar. They might be the first family member to even consider this.

Let’s say, best-case scenario, they get to attend college. Let’s choose the University of Oregon, but to attend, this person must work two jobs. This is survival. Don’t work these jobs, don’t eat. Don’t work these jobs, don’t pay for tuition. Consequently, when the summer internships roll around, especially those based in the financial sector, this person lacks the money to leave for an East Coast internship. The money required is less than $500, but it’s still not possible. Consequently, the internships come and go while this person works retail at Dillard’s. Talent-wise, this person is exceptional, but external pressure puts the clamps on expansion. Here is where things get interesting. I find far more conformity from the wealthy sector, and hey, I get it. I don’t want to say anything is easy, but the path is there. There are guardrails and safeguards here. Grandparents, parents, associates, working together to protect what they have. This is like a military unit.

For the Oregonian, no such luck. They have to take chances. They can’t conform because those positions are already filled. These types of ingredients lead to more atypical people. There are atypical folks from the privileged class, but they feel less pressure to paddle to South America. This leads me to my favorite book. (One of them.) The Razor’s Edge. If you haven’t read this book, I highly recommend it. The main character is traumatized by war, returns to America, and is in line to live a life of privilege. Just conform, do the expected, and the world is your oyster. Instead, he leaves it behind and embarks for Paris, where he takes time to think. He turns his back. The world implodes, but he’s found an atypical path through the darkness around him. A classic atypical character. What’s interesting is how many atypical people I’ve met who reference this book. There is a spiritual element to this story. Conformists, even outstanding folks, might downplay this, dismissing it as witchcraft or a waste of time and energy. Atypical people factor it in. They tend to be more open-minded and less dependent on learned behavior. They may or may not be able to afford this luxury.

Lastly: any journaling is good journaling. If you haven’t started. Today is the day.