Stop waiting for the other. Start working with the self. People are lazy and fickle. We are. All of the data supports this. It’s not that we don’t DO things. We do, and some do A LOT. But the masses, let’s say the eighty percent, are looking for the path of least resistance. Fast food, convenience, stay in your lane, no stress, take it easy, be cool, just relax, don’t worry about it. Fuc$ that. That isn’t good enough. If you are a photographer, or trying to be a photographer, or take your photography seriously, well, you can’t rely on the other. You gotta do you, no matter the consequences.
I’m interested in you.
I’m not interested in your likes or follows or reads. If those come, great. If not, still interested. Because I’m interested in story. Your story. But I’m not interested in the story you think you are supposed to tell me. I’m interested in the story you NEED to tell me. The real story. The one that is burning you up inside. I’m after the juice. And I don’t care how bad, or how “off” this story is, as long as it has meaning.
A few years ago, I was in my office staring at a pile of materials. Random things. I looked at the pile and asked myself, “What am I going to do with this stuff?” My first idea was “toss it out.” “This crap has been cluttering up my office for years. I must not need it,” I thought. And then I looked again and said, “Nah, gotta make something with this pile.” And I did. And I made something that has real legs. I made a series unlike anything I’ve ever done.
Did anyone ask me to do this? Was I following a trend? Did I need “they” to tell me it has relevance? Nope. “They” never even crossed my mind. Who cares about “they?” My best work comes when I’m left alone. My best work comes when I’m faced with creative uncertainty, and I need to stop thinking about someone else and need to start thinking about what lives inside my rotten melon. What do I want to do?
This work was made with medium format film, both color and black and white, and clear film used as the print material. I made images with the standard color and black and white emulsions then printed those on clear film, and then I rephotographed the images while moving the different layers of clear film. It not only added depth to the work it also added a sense of motion. I tried to blend both connected scenes and scenes that were extremely varied.
This work, had I so desired, had the kind of look and feel that the more arty types seem to love. Several arty types did see these images and ask to see more, a good sign if getting a show is high on your list. This work as also had legs in the editorial/commercial side of the business because I was asked if I could recreate this look on portrait assignments. But I didn’t want either of these things. Still don’t. There is nothing wrong with wanting these things, but at this point in my life there is no desire to play in these established channels.
The key was making something that was mine. Where did this idea come from? A pile of material and a few minutes to ponder the possibility. So many of you ask me about becoming “something.” Getting from Point A to Point B in your life as a creative. I’m always happy to share what I know, but at the foundation of every single thing I have learned is the same basic question. Who are you? Who are you really? Some of you post to Medium or Substack or other networks. Some post to Flickr. But all of these platforms will punish you by rewarding you for bad behavior. They are not the answer. Those platforms belong to “they.” Someone asked me “Who cares about this?” “Why are you writing about this?” I’m writing about it because you keep asking, but my answers will remain the same.
My answers aren’t easy. My answers lead to having to look in the mirror and they lead to being isolated. At least for a while. My answers lead to failure. They lead to trial and error but mostly error. And this doesn’t play well in a world where everyone wants their pound of flesh. Everyone wants notoriety. Everyone wants audience. Well, my friends, you can have it. You can have it all, if you are smart. When I think of the best photographers, writers, illustrators, and designers I know, as well as the best painters and musicians, the absolute best do have followings. Some sizable. But one hundred percent of them spent time in the doldrums while they figured out who they are. Not who the record label or publisher wanted them to be.
Take it from me, the guy who wants NONE of it. I’m not selling you something. I’ve told you NOT to watch my YouTube channel. I’ve told you my dream is to disappear. Being famous or popular would be the end of me. Take it from me when I tell you the answer isn’t out there. The answer is inside you, but you have to make time to let it out. Quiet time. Just like when you got in trouble at school. Remember that? Remember “Time out?” Well, what do you think that was about? How about suspension? I can remember getting suspended and hearing the vice principal say “Well Mr. Milnor, you now have three days to think about your actions.” What do you think this was about?
How did Einstein find his major works? By quitting his job and taking the time to “do nothing.” You think he would have found his theories if he had asked the staff at the patent office what he should be working on and what he should be thinking about? Then why do we cater our works to the masses? I think we’ve lost track of the beauty of process. Isn’t making images enough? Don’t listen to those psychos who say “Your work has no meaning unless people see it.” Please. What a sad and desperate way of living your life. Those people are full of shit, by the way, I know some of them. Most are attention junkies.
Allow me to make a suggestion. If you are already doing you for you then power on baby, power on. If not, then do something of and for you. Just you. Not us. Make something and keep it to yourself. Let it marinate. Hopefully, it’s weird and confuses you to some degree. Maybe you think it sucks. Maybe you think it’s embarrassing. Good. All good. You are on the right track. If you find yourself thinking “People are going to love this,” stop and throw it away. Delete it. Think about a tech detox program. Increase your timeline. Give it enough time that you forget about it. Then do it again. Repeat the process. At the end of the year, go back and have a look at the sum of the results. Look for trends. Look for the unique. Look for things you can’t explain, and have a good, long think. My guess is you will be pleasantly surprised. You might hear yourself say “Whoa.” You might weep. You could laugh.
I used to do a lot of assisting, and I assisted for a wide range of photographer. Some borderline geniuses, others more problem solvers. The ones who ONLY shot for the other were miserable people who all ended up either bankrupt, divorced, or unhappy. Those who established a blend were the best photographers, but also the best people. They had creative private places. They had to satisfy that inner itch otherwise they would have ceased to exist. I really hope that every single one of you finds your place. You won’t find it out there. You gotta go internal. It might be bumpy. You could crash. But that’s okay. I never said it would be easy.
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I might just have to work on my “Vivian Maier” file next year.
Author
go for it.
Inspiring…..but not so easy to hear. Everything is so focussed on building a following these days as you’ve said so many times.
I’m retired, no need or desire to build a business but there is still a relentless pull to share, follow, be followed etc. After 40+ years of still photography I’ve started learning video and film creation to capture our van trips and travels, and every tutorial is completely centred around hooking followers and building a channel for gain.
I found Shifter and your work a month ago and it’s already helped wean me off social media to a large degree. Your message is also making me really question the ‘why’ around making films for myself and ‘You won’t find it out there. You gotta go internal’ is the answer. It’s about just doing it for me, to ‘scratch my itch’ and thats all. Who cares if anyone wants to watch them. Make them for me, Learn and have fun. That’s the story. Thanks
Author
The entire online system is built around building following. For ten year olds and hundred year olds. One of the most unhealthy things we could have invented for ourselves. Kids give phones at 8. What chance do they have?
This post caught me when sittin on the banks of the Mekong, waiting for the sunrise and thinking why the hell am I doing this. My mates are sleepng in the hotel.
Author
You got that inner fire.
Speaking of Einstein, I have a related “theory.” It is unfalsifiable, so try not to laugh: I suspect that we, as in the general public, haven’t seen a lot of the “best” art ever made (excluding unfathomably expensive large-scale projects commissioned by wealthy governments, royalty, or aristocrats like Michelangelo’s David for example) because so much of it is unpublished private work.
Vivian Maier’s case is an easy way to illustrate this, regardless of whether you enjoy her photography (I do). Vivian didn’t intend to share her photographs or didn’t have the means – if you believe the narrative. Many of her celebrated images were on rolls of film yet undeveloped before her death.
Well, was she [Vivian] the only woman with similar technical skill with a camera during her lifetime? Were there women with access to equally interesting people, venues, and occasions during her lifetime? Was she the only woman among those unnamed peers to pass without publishing her work?
We haven’t seen it all. I wish we could.
The problem I have with Vivian Maier is that she never printed and edited her photographs. Somebody entirely unrelated to her did that long after her death. It was actually him who created the bodies of work which we know today. He selected the “good” (i.e. interesting or palatable for a viewer in the 21st century) pictures. Which pictures would *she* have selected herself as “the best ones”? We can never know; we can never see “through her eyes” – we see through the eyes of her editors. For this reason, I have a problem to even call her an artist. Please – I do not want to start a flame war. I know that a lot of people hold her in high regard, but this is my personal opinion.
Author
Well, she made the images, and she made the set the editors selected, odds are, there were many, many more. Does that make her an artist? No idea. My guess, she wouldn’t have called herself that. Maybe a photographer, but I think that is a stretch. She certainly knew her way around a camera.
Author
82% of the entire art market is US, UK, China. Most of of it is controlled by about a dozen galleries, but five are the key players. It’s consolidated beyond belief. A total scam in many ways. So yes, a huge percentage of great work will never get seen. Same for photography,
I think of Rick Rubin’s advice that “the audience comes last.”
Author
He knows better than anyone. As fifteen more “Three days in X with X” films are uploaded to YouTube.
Artists have teachers, role models, colleagues, editors, employers, etc. Fred Herzog talks about this and credits Andy at Equinox Gallery for knowing what his best work is. There is joy in collaboration, and it is interesting and educational to find that others might value something in your work that you didn’t see. Every gallery show is curated, whether with the artists collaboration or without if they are dead.
Author
Many of the best artists were made my their editors, dealers, collectors, etc. Most photographers aren’t great at editing their own work. I know, I see it on a weekly basis, and saw it many times while i was a photographer. Editors are there for a reason. You are spot on.
Everyone talks about Vivian Maier and I see the argument of non-curated work by the artist.
Garry Winogrand “At the time of his death his late work remained undeveloped, with about 2,500 rolls of undeveloped film, 6,500 rolls of developed but not proofed exposures, and about 3,000 rolls only realized as far as contact sheets being made.”
Does this also mean we should never see this work published?
Author
Photography as a business is a team sport. Agents, editors, art buyers, collectors, etc. Book publishing too. Photography books with great editors tend to be good books. Me personally, don’t care if her work or his work was edited by them or not. Printing is another matter, but historically images printed by the artist are more valuable.
Contacting the inner self is important as it is important to breathe – although breathing is done automatically and getting in contact with the inner self unfortunately is not, moreover it tends to be uncomfortable and in my case I noticed that a couple of preconditions to access my inner self are boredom and sobriety (from any substance, both physical and virtual). But when I’ll die, I will know I lived not because I was breathing, but because I got time with my inner self, that is in fact my true self (my body and my everyday conscious-routine-brain are the true guests of my inner self, not the other way around). The constant dialogue with the inner self is mandatory to get to know the real and important questions that will give the direction of our life. It is through this process of dialogue that one can consciously build and live a life. Included here is also creativity.
After all, photography is our inner self trying to boil over and out its own confinement. At least in the photography I do, there is always a part I can’t decipher, for example the why I took that particular photo and not another one, or the feelings I get flooded with when I pull something out from the archive (doesn’t happen with everything, but it does happen), or the real reasons why I arrive to do some projects instead of other projects – that maybe I thought were more interesting.
Simply put, contacting the inner self is what makes me do certain type of photography and not another. If I was stirred around by what I used to see in socials, all I’d photograph would be gas stations at golden hour or street photography, and even more terrifying, I’d be worried about engagement and mindless-scrollers’ opinions.
Getting bored, going for a lone walk, avoid the junk food. Turning off the entertainment. Brave things to do nowadays, yet fundamental.
(my two cents about the matter)
Author
Ya, I agree. The minute I start to photograph I begin an internal conversation. Mine never has anything to do with social media, being online, you, my family, my friends, my wife, etc. Never. My internal conversation is about story and imagination. Social photography, and most of YT photography, doesn’t even pass through my eyes. The gas station stuff, the street stuff. Those things serve a purpose for the maker, but not for anyone with history or context. Not sure why but I’m never bored.
Well said Mr.Milnor. Doing you for you is a long process, we’re used to base our success on external validation. That’s how all of us grew up. I’m still considering myself a photography noob, but slowly I’m getting what makes me happy. I may have the advantage of never really have cared what people think but digging inside me has always been difficult. But this year, I’ve caught some glimpses of what I want. More to come.
Author
Yes, timing is everything. I am incredibly fortunate to have come up in photography before all the noise. There was virtually no audience and no outlets. The only real reason to make pictures was because we felt like it. It was, in some ways, a much more fun time.